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Pigeon Attack!

November 13, 2018

The worst thing about cities is the pigeons. Normal birds fly off when you approach, or at least walk away. City pigeons will mug you for crumbs. And they are dumb as rocks.


I had one pestering me at the bus stop. It was looking for crumbs. I was just waiting for the bus. It picked up every crumb it found, and checked out one rock four times. You know, in case it changed into crumb from a rock in the last 30 seconds. Then it started following me around.


I don’t want any flying germ factory near me. So as it got close, I’d move away. It would pause, staring at me for a bit. Turn as if to walk away, maybe even take a few steps away or peck at something on the sidewalk. Then it would head my way again. Until I moved. Once or twice it looked at me like it expected me to drop some crumbs for it.


Now I know I can defeat a single pigeon. I could have crushed that walking bacteria factory. But I don’t want to go around hurting animals. I don’t mind looking at them in the wild, but I really think we should leave each other alone. We don’t need to get close or cozy. I certainly don’t expect them to feed me, so I’m not feeding them. Well, I don’t mind bird feeders in the back yard. However I want the birds to scatter if I step outside the door.


The only animals that should get close are domesticated animals, dogs cats, chickens, goats, that sort of thing. Wild animals should be wild. They should avoid humans. Wild animals that act half-domesticated are basically crazy. You never know what they are going to do.

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