A People Person vs A Not People Person

I’m not a people person. Some people are. My husband was. One of my sons really is. But I’m not. And it does make a difference.

A people person loves to be around others. Loves a good chat. Loves to just hang with their friends. These behaviors give them energy. It pumps them up. It satisfies them emotionally. Even talking with strangers makes them feel good.

Not so for introverts. I really don’t care for hanging out, chatting with people, going to parties, etc. It doesn’t pump me up or give me energy. It feels like it’s eating me alive. It’s exhausting. It’s not the least bit enjoyable. It makes me feel drained and worn out.

Oddly enough, I’ve found that most introverts seem to pick up on the fact that being around other people is fun for extroverts, but the reverse is not true. Most extroverts don’t understand that being around other people is draining for introverts, and not even one bit fun.

It took my husband a while to figure that out about me. I’d be tired and worn out, and all I’d want was to go to my room, close the door, and get away from it all. He’d be trying to get me to go somewhere with him, to hang out with people. I remember one time at a convention, when I was sick (I mean really actually ill, I probably shouldn’t have been there, but it wasn’t contagious, so…) and just wanted to go hide in the hotel room, he kept trying to get me to go meet new people. He thought it would help me feel better. I think I lost it with him, and told him in no uncertain terms what I thought about going over to meet strangers. He was shocked. It had never occurred to him that I didn’t enjoy meeting new people. We’d been married for over 15 years at that point.

When I mention this to introverts they get it immediately. They understand. But quite a lot of the time when I mention this to extroverts they disbelieve me.

Weird, isn’t it? People who don’t like other people seem to have a better understanding of differences between people than people who do like other people. Human beings, too strange.


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